Life's Perfect Little GPS

For the most part, Thanksgiving for me has always kind of been an afterthought like Groundhog's Day, Sweetest Day or Tax Day.

Never been much for turkey, pumpkin pie or cranberry anything. Usually I'm good with three or four fluffy biscuits, a mountain of mashed potatoes and a reservoir of butter followed by an expedient exit from the table to retire to my rightful ass groove on the couch, falling asleep to bad Detroit Lions football to awaken in a post turkey day-haze at some point between Black Friday and Cyber Monday.

Just like the lost notion that Christmas is supposed to be about celebrating the birth of Christ (or on a less ethereal level: the celebration of peace on Earth and goodwill towards all men and women) and not a month-long, free-for-all, accumulation of material things to be blindly doled out en masse at four or five rigidly segmented "holiday parties" all within a 24-48 hour span, Thanksgiving is exactly what its name suggests: giving thanks...for what we have, for who we have and for what we have accomplished.

Whether you're all for tying on a Stove Top Stuffing enema at the dinner table or not, the true meaning of Thanksgiving is something I personally have never really embraced and frankly have always taken for granted.

Now I will be the first to admit this year has been one giant kick in the crotch after another for me with daily compounding interest. This past year alone I've lost (or in some cases had taken away from me without cause or explanation) jobs, money, health insurance, physical wellness, financial health, friends, hair, weight and at times - my joy, my dignity, my belief in myself and my hope and faith. Believe me, finding something to be thankful for in that cornucopia of "dreck" is going to take a high-powered NASA telescope with infrared lenses.

Despite all that, what the journey of this past year (and really the last couple of years) has taught me boils down to this basic concept: when you find yourself lost on the "road of life", sometimes thankfulness can be the perfect little GPS to get you back on track.

In other words, I think if we all stop and take personal inventory of all the great things in our lives (no matter how small or insignificant they may seem) that we DO HAVE to be thankful for, rather than fixating on what we NO LONGER HAVE, we will be much more realized human beings.

For example, I was (and still am, at times) really down about losing my job as editor, writer, and photographer for a small suburban newspaper a couple of years ago. That has been my dream job since I was a kid and one day, without warning, it was just pulled out from under me. It makes me angry beyond words just thinking about it.

Through that anger, what I often fail to realize and acknowledge, however, is that I actually got to live my dream...for three years! How many people can say that?

I ran a great newspaper - the way I wanted to see it run, writing my kind of stories, covering things I wanted to cover - for three whole years! There's not too many people in the world who get to say they lived their dream (and got paid well to do so) but I am one of them! That makes me feel amazing inside! I am so thankful for that!

Another angle with this story I have considered is what would have happened to me if I never lost that newspaper gig to begin with?

Had I not lost that job I also probably would have never gotten involved with pageants. Now those of you that know me and my situation or are acutely aware of just how crazy the pageant world can be could argue that might have been a good thing for me.

However, if I never went down that pageant path then I would not have been privileged to have known so many wonderful people...not the least of whom are my former state titleholders: Katie, Ashley, Heidi, MerrieBeth and Christine - whom I cherished every moment with and love each of them all like they were my own daughters...as well as the many exceptional young women who competed in local and state pageants or went on to success in other pageant systems or in other walks of life - all of whom I now proudly call friends.

Granted from a fiscal, career health, and even a mental health standpoint (the hair loss is definitely directly attributable to the drama inherent in pageants) I probably would have been better off chained to my press pass, reporter's notebook and my 15-hour workday these past few years, but from my heart I can honestly say I am thankful for the opportunity to get to know all my pageant friends and to share in those incredible experiences my work afforded me.

So putting aside my usual tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating, semi-pessimistic crown of timidity and modesty for a moment, what am I truly thankful for?

I'll give you the abridged version as my original list I compiled topped 12 pages and even put me to sleep writing it:

* The incredible gifts God gave me to creatively express myself through writing and art, my ability to solve problems quickly and calmly, my ability to make people laugh, and my desire to positively affect and make a difference in other people's lives by doing anything and everything I can for my friends, colleagues and loved ones.

* The generosity of heart, spirit and patience of my mother and the foundation she continues to provide me. She is the very definition of "a cool mom", the leader of my personal cheering section, the light that guides me and drives me, and my best friend ever.

* The time, albeit short, I got to spend on this Earth with my father. When things were right, I had more fun with that man than anyone. For better or worse, I am his son and I am thankful for the good things he bestowed upon me.

* My maternal grandparents and their unwavering love and support of me and my mom throughout my life.

* The many members of both sides of my family who hopefully know, despite my lack of physical presence at most family outings or lack of consistent communication on my part, that I do love and appreciate each of them very much.

* My cat Pook with whom I share by far my longest, most successful personal relationship with: 15 years and counting! Every morning I look forward to carrying you to your breakfast and every night cuddling up to you in bed. You have been and always will be my kitten.

* Random things (had to do some serious editing with this list so just the Top 10): PB&J, seeing Michael Jordan play basketball in person, Star Wars, The Beatles, Subway's late chicken taco sub (circa 1996), watching two of my former Miss Illinois shine on the Miss America stage in person, 24, The Eagles, Blackhawks hockey, and my old Spiderman shoes.

* My lifelong best friends Todd, Dale, Tim, and Vince; my childhood friends Mike, Ray, John, Billy, Jason, Scott, and Dave; my old work friends Joe, Sharon, Melissa, Dawn, Jim, Jeff, Mark, Lauren, Scott, Blythe, Stacy, Russ, Meryl, Ilene, Kathy, Atman, Kristie, Jill, Vic, and yes even George; my many dear pageant friends Heidi, Ashley, Katie, MerrieBeth, Christine, Anji, Jennifer, Chelsea, Christy, Tana, Lisa, Lauren, Jessica, Laura, Gina, Lexie, Meganne, Alycia, Erin, Claire, Rachel, Jamie, Natalie, Rabecca, Emily, Campbell, Ashley N., Sarah, Ruthie, Courtney, Anna, Donna, Julie, Kaili, Liz, Denise, Kelly, Courtney, and Amanda, as well as my pageant families Peggy & Dave, Davy, Trina, Abby, Belinda & Bill, Scott & Yvonne, Jim & Barb, Gwen, Ken & Susan, all the great pageant volunteers I worked with and anyone else who might be reading this that I forgot to mention by name - rest assured you have made an impact on my life (after all, you probably wouldn't be reading this if you didn't) and I am so thankful for you all.

* And lastly to God again, and maybe to a greater degree, my parents, for making me who I am. For most of my life I hit the pillow at night wishing I would wake up as anyone else but me. For the sake of better relationships with people (women mostly) I wished I would awaken with breathtakingly good looks like a Brad Pitt or super human athletic talent like a Tom Brady or for the sake of better success in life a magnetic persona, charisma and intelligence like a Barack Obama.

What I have come to realize is after a lifetime of praying to the plastic surgery fairy for a new face under my pillow or the anti-shyness bunny for an easter egg of "confidence" in my bonnet, that for my own sake, despite whatever personal shortcomings I may have, I really can't ever fathom being happy as anyone else but good old me!

And I am so thankful for that!