Summer Movie Review - TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

As with my other previous summer movie reviews I have to continuously remind myself that these movies are exactly that...summer movies. Plots, character exposition, snappy dialogue and advancing established storylines take a back seat to explosive special effects and dynamic action sequences.

Also as with my other previous summer movie reviews, STAR TREK and X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE, I issued the caveat before my review that I was very personally invested in those two franchises...as is the case with myself and the TRANSFORMERS franchise and it's latest big screen installment, REVENGE OF THE FALLEN.

Those of us old enough to remember not only the original line of Hasbro toys (consisting of sleek, die-cast metal cars, trucks, airplanes and other vehicles that transformed into menacing looking robot action figures) but the cartoon TV series that introduced a generation of young fans to the friendly Autobots and the vile Decepticons, we can be forgiven if we look at the Transformers film franchise with a bit of a jaded eye.

One of the things that made that TV series so endearing, at least in my mind, was the unique personalities inherent in many of the most popular characters. From Starscream's constant attempts to subvert the role of leadership of the Decepticons away from the mighty Megatron (and subsequent revelation of his true cowardice time and again in each failed attempt) to Ironhide's consistently crusty, yet noble attitude (ultimately revealed in the original animated big screen adaptation TRANSFORMERS - THE MOVIE as he meets an heroic demise at the hands of Megatron...still makes me cringe everytime I see it), these were characters who despite their extra-terrestrial origins (and their stereotypical campy 1980's packaging) possessed some of the most uniquely human characteristics and personality traits I have ever seen explored in a TV series...animated or otherwise.

I loved those characters. I had a real affinity for Brawn and Wheeljack and Mirage. I hated Shockwave and Astrotrain, and I am not afraid to admit I cried my eyes out when Optimus Prime died in the original animated movie.

The robots humanity (or lack thereof in certain cases) made the show something I will always treasure in my heart and that is something that is clearly lacking in Michael Bay's takes on The Transformers concept.

Despite utilizing some of the original vocal talents from the cartoon (including an inspired job of casting in bringing the legendary Peter Cullen back to voice Optimus Prime) and updating the looks of key players such as Bumblebee, Optimus, Jazz, Starscream and Megatron, these film versions of the Autobots and Decepticons are truly not more than meets the eye.

Now in the 2007 film, Bay did a competent job in attempting to fill in the backstory behind the Cybertronian wars while not losing forward momentum in extensive flashbacks or unnecessary exposition. He also effectively selected his initial cast of characters on both sides so as not to overload the viewer with too many bots to identify and follow.

In REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, Bay fails miserably on both counts. There are at least two key sequences in the movie (won't spoil it for you) that spend an awkwardly excessive amount of time in flashbacks or exposition that drag the movie to a screeching halt.

We are also introduced to at least two dozen new characters, both Autobot and Decepticon alike. The difficulty is I couldn't tell you the names of more than a handful of them either because they were not identified by name, I couldn't translate their 2009 look to their 1980s look, or they just flashed on the screen too quickly before exploding into spare parts.

Yes, the fight scenes are fantastic and Bay's penchant for combining reality-based special effects (real explosions, car crashes, gunfire, stunts, etc.) with just the right amount of CGI is once again prevalent in this body of work. It's just not nearly enough to captivate me.

As for the humanity I spoke of earlier, there is none evident in this movie and I'm not just referring to the robots either.

One of the scenes I really liked in the first movie was a sequence towards the end of the film in which Bumblebee suffers a catastrophic injury to his legs and Sam Witwicky (played by Shia LeBeouf), amid all the jarring conflict and turmoil surrounding him in the war-torn streets, vows not to leave his fallen friend and protector. That moment provided a very human emotional context to the film that the cartoon was famous for.

ROTF offers nothing of the sort. The robots truly are empty characters. Even noble Optimus and evil Megatron seem more cartoonish by their actions and dialogue on screen than their original animated counterparts. And the one group of characters that should provide a human context to the movie, namely the humans, becomes charicatures of themselves or comedic fodder set against the backdrop of The Transformers story.

Even the on-going love saga between Sam and Mikaela (portrayed by Megan Fox...and yes, despite where my review is heading, she alone IS worth the price of at least matinee admission) seemed to lose it's direction throughout but then miraculously found it's way back on the road each time until spiraling out of control in the inevitable and predictable lovelorn climax.

The movie does not take itself seriously...really ever...and when the opportunity to inject humor into the script does avail itself, it almost seems forced and inappropriate. Jar-Jar Binks haters can put down their "boobas" and refocus their hatred on not just one, but two Binks-esque characters in Mud Flaps and his goofy twin whose name escapes me at the moment (I think it might be Curb Feelers or Fuzzy Dice or something like that). Their antics throughout the film are a total distraction.

I would have rather seen the half-hour or so of wasted screen time on those two cretins, the Jetfire sequence, the story of the Primes, Sam's idiot roommate at college, and the time spent in Transformers heaven (can't take credit for that one...thanks Matty) on more action, or better yet... interaction, with the Autobots and Decepticons.

I realize that you can't blindly recreate the cartoon with real-life settings and actors, and I also understand that a movie further exploring the personalities of these robots would probably make for extremely boring theater.

I just know that for a summer movie, REVENGE OF THE FALLEN passes the eyes and ears test, but as a Transformers fan, this franchise needs a complete overhaul.