Mailing It In

Riddle me this:

Can any major sports city in the country boasting professional teams in at least three of the big four leagues (MLB, NFL, NBA and NHL) be a bigger joke than Chicago is right now? Hell, I'll even see your cities with teams in two of the four leagues and raise you an MLS team kicker (sorry, bad poker metaphor).

Seriously. Lets put this evidence under the microscope!

In less than two weeks time, we've had the Chicago Blackhawks pull a major coup, bucking a century's worth of penny-pinching and Jurassic-era business practices, with the signing of free agent offensive super-stud Marian Hossa to a 12-year, $60+ million dollar deal, only to risk flushing all that positive momentum down the crapper on a silly paperwork snafu and the reliability of the Postal Service with the potential loss of young, budding talent Kris Versteeg to unrestricted free agency. Are you kidding me?

We've got America's darlings, the Chicago Cubs, who after two years of wrangling with suitors and haggling with Tribune Company creditors were on the verge of finalizing a deal to sell the team to the Ricketts family of TD Ameritrade fame. Then in an act reticent of total "Cub-dom" (or should that be "Cub-dumb"), the Chicago Sun Times quotes multiple sources within the team's lame duck ownership group (namely the paper's own competitor, the Chicago Tribune) that no agreement has been reached and the team is still fielding offers from other sources to maximize top dollar.

Top that off with the Chicago Bulls losing free agent Ben Gordon to the Detroit Pistons (perhaps interleague payback for the aforementioned Hossa deal), the Cubs losing pitcher Ryan Dempster to a fractured toe in the wake of jumping over a dugout railing to celebrate a victory last weekend, and the Chicago White Sox losing pitcher Bartolo Colon - not to free agency or an injury - they just can't find him period!

And while the Chicago Bears have remained remarkably hushed this off season, still riding the high of the Jay Cutler trade with Denver this past spring, it still makes me laugh to listen to some of Bears Nation criticize the move. He's overrated. He's cocky. He doesn't sign autographs. Orton is better. We gave up too much. Why not give Caleb Haney a shot?

Guess what? JAY CUTLER IS AN ACTUAL NFL STARTING QUARTERBACK!

Despite the Bears' Super Bowl XX victory in 1986, the Bulls' six title run in the 1990's, and the White Sox World Series title in 2005, the overall national perspective of Chicago is essentially "a tradition of mediocrity" and Chicago fans' mentalities for the most part can be summed up in one word: "meatheads". And while I don't necessarily care what other areas of the world think of us, I can't help but agree with either of those assessments.

This is a sports town who embraces their own and shuns change of any kind...even if it is for the better.

This is a sports town whose baseball legacy can be defined by some greenery adorning brick walls in the outfield, a college of coaching, Harry Caray, Disco Demolition Night, baseball shorts, and prior to 2005, 100 years of nothing to show for any of it.

This is a sports town so steeped in tradition (or, again, is it fearful of change?) that its management brain trust is often afraid to act on anything for fear of upsetting the balance?

This is a sports town whose basketball team sent Benny the Bull and the Luv-a-Bulls out to the airport to greet and woo potential All-Star free agents while other teams sent what those players ultimately wanted: legitimate, loaded contracts.

This is a sports town whose coaching carousel reads like the dossier of a D-list celebrity candle party. For every Phil Jackson and Mike Ditka, there's a Terry Bevington and a Jim Essian just itching to soil themselves; thus making their memorable contributes to the festering Chicago coaching compost heap. This phenomenon (perceived or otherwise) undoubtedly influenced the sudden changes of heart by even second-tier retreads such as Dave McGinnis, Doug Collins and Barry Melrose in officially accepting coaching positions with Chicago teams. (Do you realize how close we were to having Barry Melrose and his mullet coaching the Blackhawks? How long did he last with the 'Ning? A week-and-a-half?)

This is a sports town whose fans revel in the potential of their team's "hot young prospects" (most of whom historically do not live up to expectations - see Brandon McCarthy, Felix Pie, Tuomo Ruutu, Miguel Olivo, Gary Scott...shall I continue?) and then cry bloody murder on the notion that any one of them should be traded for anything remotely beneficial to the team's long-term success from outside the organization.

This is a sports town whose teams, like a lot of other cities, are frugal with their spending cash but not to the penultimate detriment of their teams' well-being and that of their fiercly loyal collective fan base as some Chicago ownership and management groups have chosen to be. From Bobby Hull to Greg Maddux to Jeremy Roenick to Elton Brand to Magglio Ordonez...how cheap are we?

And when teams in this town do in fact make a splash and land a big name player via trade or free agency, it is almost always one on the downside of their career (see Ken Griffey, Jr., Maddux - the second time, Bobby Orr, Charles Oakley) or a player who slips through the cracks of the teams' advanced scouting and medical staff who fail to diagnose a slightly torn labrum, degenerative knee or even a case of acute ass-wipedness (see David Wells...on all three!)

Granted, all of these recent blips on the Chicago sporting radar will iron themselves out before any lasting damage can occur. Versteeg will re-sign with the Hawks soon. Despite his numbers, Gordon's absence from the Bulls' line-up will probably further facilitate Derrick Rose's growth as an offensive player. Dempster's toe will heal in time for the Cubs to miss the playoffs. Their ownership situation will be a mere matter of how many zeroes to the left of the decimal point a suitor can muster. And unless Bartolo Colon was hanging in the same bar with Steve McNair last weekend, I'm sure he'll emerge from his hole in time to make his rehab starts in Triple-A Charlotte.

It's the notion that Chicago really is the lonely kid at the prom or the precious ugly duckling debutante that never "swanned-up". Our blue collar attitude and toughness-wins-out-over-talent system of values are the subject of mockery by pundits and talk radio hosts nationwide. We are laughed with and we are laughed at...and we love it. Because it's our tradition and that's what makes our town, our teams, and our fans so great!

Tradition is wonderful! It is something I will always cherish, not just in sports but in all aspects of my life. You know what else I cherish? Winning...and the respect that comes with it.

How about we start a new tradition?