Wake Me Up When September Ends

This can't be real, can it?

As I awoke this late morning, the calendar read early July yet the temperature outside was a very Autumn-like 50-some-odd degrees. It was beautiful...my perfect summer day. Odd.

Ripe with an unusual surplus of energy, I went for a brisk walk and along the way a very beautiful young woman out for a jog greeted me with a genuine smile and a friendly hello. Huh?

Then I opened my morning paper and discovered that the Chicago Blackhawks, my hockey organization, just inked free agent offensive juggernaut Marian Hossa to a 12-year, $60+ million dollar contract...what's going on here?

Wait...something happened, didn't it? The Earth spun off it's axis, crashed into Uranus (I know, still can't resist an attempt at sophomoric potty-mouth humor when the opportunity presents itself) and now this is the after-life where everything goes your way.

Or maybe this is The Matrix and my hairless, naked body with hoses and tubes connected to every orifice is sitting in some vat of pink Jell-O with scores of other human batteries feeding some futuristic race of machines bio-electric energy while a computer program desperately tries to convince my brain that life is wonderful all in an effort to mask the machines' sinister purpose.

This just can't be happening...right?

I mean, this is the Chicago Blackhawks we're talking about. The Original Six franchise that helped launch the National Hockey League in the 1920's and has not updated their methods of doing business since. The organization that deemed it a good idea to continue to black out all telecasts of home games even after fans stopped coming through the turnstiles to watch them in person. The team that would sooner spend money on retreading tires on the Zamboni for the tenth time before spending it on their own players...let alone free agent players!

It's not the dollar amount or even the number of years that staggers me. It's the fact that the Blackhawks were the team to pull the trigger on the deal after coming off an already impressive showing last season. What's more they did so much to the detriment of their hated Detroit Red Wings rivals; blatantly stealing away their best offensive asset and planting him squarely on the Hawks' formidable young first line for the better part of the next decade. WOW!

That's why I'm having such difficulty accepting this as fact. In my Blackhawks reality under the old Dollar Bill Wirtz/Bob Pulford regime, the big news of the off-season more than likely would have been the signing of 47-year-old decrepit veteran Chris Chelios and his instant elevation to Team Captain or possibly the hiring of venerable Wayne Van Dorp as Special Assistant to the General Counsel or some other nonsense.

This just absolutely floors me! I'm not much for hyperbole, even after my team throws a lot of coin at a key acquisition, but with all due candor this one signing signifies not only a tremendous shift in power in hockey's Western Conference but a change in mindset in the entire Chicago Blackhawks organization enabling a potential return to glory that all Hawks fans have so richly deserved for the better part of the last half century. You deserve this. I deserve this!

Granted Hossa's commitment to the Indian will not be the end-all, be-all to the Blackhawks' Stanley Cup dreams. The signing will inevitably push established, higher priced veterans like Nikolai Khabibulin (enjoy Edmonton, Khabi) and Marty Havlat out the door and might even make the ultimate goal of securing the long-term services of the young nucleus of Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane more difficult, particularly within the constraints of the NHL's ever-shrinking salary cap.

Still, whether Hossa helps lead the team to a Cup title or not, two things are for certain:

The Blackhawks are finally a real hockey team doing real business in the 21st century and I cannot wait for the puck to drop on this coming season!

12 years and $60+ million dollars. What's next? The Bears acquiring a legitimate All-Pro starting Quarterback after fifty years of futility at the position?

Oh yeah...I'm sure that'll happen!